I saw that headline and a picture of Jim underneath a few minutes ago on Focus’ news page and felt my insides just kind of drop. I think the fact that I didn’t see it here in his own country first was a quick and easy way to divert my sadness into anger – typical that someone like him would be ignored while so many of the vapid and shallow are blown up into media events. But the fact is that I am really and terribly saddened and shaken by his death. His words have brought me so much comfort and joy and have healed so much in me over the years, and I guess I idolized him in a way – something I’m not prone to do with anyone. I always wanted to be able to see him at a live reading and hear those beautiful words and phrases expressed in what I sometimes think must have been the archetypal junkie-voice telling us all that to live is what matters, despite whatever one may have gone through – that the self can endure. Dig?

So I’m going to be very sad for a while. Funny thing – in one of those bizarre synchronicities that occur, I had just gotten out “Catholic Boy” this past weekend to listen to after having the music pop into my head. I’ll be taking out more recordings and books tonight and reading/listening to his wonderful words and remembering him. Farewell, Poet.

1)My boss is a technical whiz, but *incredibly* poor at management.
2)The company has a policy that they didn’t tell me about when I interviewed (which would have ended any plans about coming to work for it), but waited until about 5 weeks after I was here to alert me about, which will effectively make it impossible to get insurance through them unless I want to carry it forward at my own expense.

So, while not jobless, I’m looking for another job, yet again. I wish I could just settle into something good for a change, rather than places that lay me off or don’t tell me all their policies up front, etc.

Now, to change the tone of the blog, here are some things that make me happy:

Penguins
Llamas
Lemurs
Lobsters
(lots of ‘l’s in this list!)

That’s kind of my secret-weapon list. When I’m really unhappy I bring out the Happy Animal List.

Repeat – DO NOT AUTOMATICALLY FORWARD IPHONES TO MOBILE CONTENT!!!!!

Jeez.

For fairness’ sake, I should add that if Apple didn’t have its fair share of imbeciles as well, then they’d include a setting where you could identify your browser as something else.

Now that I’ve churned the stomach painting this sordid memory, I should add that I had thankfully managed to repress the horror of this memory….. until now.

So I was out running some few errands this past weekend. I try to avoid malls, shopping centers and the like where the general rabble go on weekends, but I needed something to carry all my gear to my job. I park a kilometer away, carry my shoes, lunch, computer, fluids, etc and much as I despise the trendy-ness of a backpack, practicality won out. So I went to a local well-known asian import place that specializes in luggage, purses, etc. It was in a northern suburb called Frisco where the middle class has most recenly decided to build their hideous ersatz McMansions and it was there, THERE that horror befell me.

I was walking around the store and toward me walked an image from the long-ago – the definitive ’70s matron in all her glory. My shock was short-lived though, as suddenly a whole…flock, for lack of a better word, of them came rushing past as I tried to avoid slipping into a fear-coma. And at that point my last drop of Nepenthe’s waters must have worn off, as I saw at that store, the next two I visited, and even on the streets of my favourite little area to go shopping in a completely different place more and more of these horrors from the past.
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My first draft of this was ranted further and was far more Lovecraftian and contained worlds such as “vermiform”, “charnel” and “necrophagous”. The point is that there is no reason that that fashion item should ever have been dredged from the slime of the past. It was trashy then, it’s trashier now. I truly hope this is merely a localized, and/or temporary whim of the clueless middle-class, and not some harbinger of a new cliff over which American culture is going to run, lemming-like into the great sea of banality.

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For now, simply….. outstanding.